Speaking of personal growth, it is also necessary to take into consideration those psychological mechanisms that do not allow us to reach full awareness and complete mastery of our life. Among the various tricks our mind uses to defend itself from difficult and sometimes painful steps in life, there is the psychic projection that the manuals define: “the operation with which the subject ejects from himself and locates in the other (person or thing), feelings, desires or qualities that are his but which he does not recognize or reject in himself. ”
This method of defense has very distant origins, children often use this trick because they still cannot recognize their responsibility for external events. If the child is reprimanded or accused of something, it is possible that he blames others (often an imaginary child) for the wrongdoing.
Growing up we can become more aware of this mechanism as it can manifest itself in a positive sense, for example when we fall in love with someone: incredibly, the person object of our feeling acquires traits that we deem desirable and attractive within us; this projection trick is naturally activated unconsciously by the person in love and then realizes, once the falling in love phase is over, that he himself has attributed those traits to the person and that they only partially belonged to the object of his love.
In a negative sense, the projection can manifest itself every time we attribute the causes of our suffering to others without making a distinction between our own and others’ responsibilities, of course this does not mean that the world is devoid of misunderstandings or only we are the cause of our negative events.
If we find ourselves thinking about what projections we are putting into action in our life, we can ask ourselves: what concerns me and influences me so much about the past or the present that it is painful for me to face up to?
Sometimes if we are convinced that someone else does not understand us, it causes us pain, it is possible that we are interfacing with a mental idea of the person himself. It is important at this point to reflect and get help to have a clearer idea of the situations we are experiencing , as we may have stumbled upon a mental projection.
It is also important to underline that our whole life is hinged on projections and that it is important to accept that reality is different for each of us. We can only undertake a path of greater clarity and awareness. What tools may I need to better clarify the idea I have of this person or situation?