When I worked for a large training institution, my days were punctuated by office hours, coffee breaks, chatting with colleagues, the trip back to home, which for a few days of the week were interspersed with an aperitif with friends. The work corresponded with my studies and I enjoyed a great relationship with clients. That pace of life made me very sure of myself, it provided me with tools for managing my activities. After graduation and a traveling job in Italy, that period gave me a certain rule. Until, suddenly, in front of this apparent normality I felt infinitely dissatisfied, and I found myself making the trip from home to the office by car, standing at a traffic light crying desperately. That moment of despair gave me the push to look around to search for something different. In a short time I found a new opportunity and came into contact with an environment totally different from the one I knew and in which I felt like a fish out of water every day.
You can imagine what was going through my mind and how I felt. I was looking for change but not sure what. I felt a deep sense of insecurity. Since that moment, the most turbulent, complicated and richest period of my life began.
I know that many of you may be feeling as I did even if the context today is completely different. In these years (after having found my way) I have helped several people in the throes of important changes. A coachee of mine, who arrived in Germany where her husband had found a very good job opportunity, had to rebuild her path from 0 after a very long academic career built in Italy. She felt unprepared and still powerless to manage a system of life and a completely new reality.
Our brain brings our experiences back to known patterns when this does not happen a moment of disorientation that can cause different emotions such as: fear, anxiety, sense of inadequacy.
In these moments, negative thoughts can become recurrent and remain linked to the problem. The energy we use to find a solution is the same that prevents us from finding it. So one of the first things to do is to lighten up a bit with meditations or mindfulness.
Next steps can involve considering what really worries us and starting to talk it out by talking freely, or writing whole pages of what could happen, and writing any actions to be taken, this can become another important step to feel more active and in control of the situation.
In some cases, when thoughts really don’t seem to let us go, we can write down the worst scenarios of that situation. It does not serve to remove energy, but only to realize that no problem is so serious as to lead to dire consequences.
With good training work, you can begin by relating your deepest needs to external opportunities, analyze and define your goals better.
We can examine the aspects of our life that we can influence and then, we move on to the design of an action plan with the timing for each micro-objective and we can establish the people involved in this project to be able to delegate their goals to family members or groups, in order to obtain the desired results with the involvement and participation of people close to us.