One of my coachee I are dealing with an important topic: the need to be able to control emotions.
We are experiencing a time of great agitation. Due to the news that we receive from all over the world and the daily questions we have to solve both in our private and working sphere, our mind and body are on a roller coaster of emotions. Sometimes we feel angry (or even in disagree) about the current events occurring around us. At least one time during the last year of pandemic, each one of us has felt frustrated because of the physical and psychological lack of freedom and, at the same time, scared of taking it again because of the possible negative consequences this act would have led to.
Our body demand more movement than we can do and our mind is crowded with thoughts about ourselves, our path and our goals. Even people who have worked on themselves and, thanks to that, have a lot of self-awareness, right now may feel this is not enough because of the uncertainty they are living in. We are all caught up in this whirlwind of news, sensations and emotions.
Emotions can take over us, making us feel powerless to control them and slow down, inhibit, sometimes even change our actions. Just think about the moment in which you are doing a completely daily action but you are assailed by such a big fear that you suddenly freeze. For example, while you are in a meeting and you want to speak or when you feel the anger rising from inside you while you are facing a situation that is getting out of your hand. Why does all this happen? Because we are not computers but human beings made of feelings, emotions and sensations. There still is a part of our soul that brings our mind back to the time we have felt a particular negative emotion which our rationality have tried to bury later.
Emotions have a very important adaptation function for a person’s life. If we learn to manage them, without holding them back or being overwhelmed by them, they can represent a relevant guide for our thoughts and actions. As a matter of fact, it is necessary to understand how to interpret and use these messages in the best possible way, in order to look deeper inside us, get to know ourselves and rediscover the purposes that perhaps we had lost in keeping the daily commitments. This allows us to improve the relationship both with others and, overall, with ourselves. It is crucial to learn how to identify what we are feeling, manage it and become familiar with it.
Emotions are divided in eight main emotional states from which derive many other subcategories. We know these eight states very well. They are: anger, fear, sadness, joy, surprise, contempt and disgust.
To start getting comfortable with them, try this simple exercise: grab a pen and a piece of paper and give yourself 15 minutes:
Which one of these emotional states listed above do you feel most frequently?
When you are in that state, how do you behave? What reactions do you cause in other people?
What emotional state would you like to be in instead?
What do you do and/or where are you when you are in the emotional state that you would like to feel more often?
What could you do to live your desired emotional state in your daily life?
Please, let me know how it goes.