A mentee of mine is facing difficulty in managing their emotions effectively. This has a lot to do with current affairs and the turbulence of world news. Also the complex reality that we live in at work, with family, within our networks of friends.
It has been common to feel anger and frustration about what we see and hear and to worry about the consequences of continued barriers on our freedom of choice and movement. Our body could demand more movement than we can do, our mind is crowded with thoughts about ourselves, our path, the goals we had set ourselves.
Even people who have worked on themselves who have a lot of self-awareness may feel that not all tools are enough right now, and feel overwhelmed by a moment of uncertainty. We are all caught up in this whirlwind of news, sensations, and emotions.
Emotions can take over us and make us feel powerless to control them and can slow down, inhibit, sometimes change our actions. They are the blocks that are triggered when you least expect it, while you are doing a completely daily action but you are assailed by fear, when you are in a meeting and you freeze when you want to speak, when you feel the anger rising from you whilst you are facing a situation that you feel is getting out of hand.
Why does all this happen? Because we are not computers, because people are made of feelings, emotions, sensations and all that part of us that speaks to us, communicates to us, ancient things that are buried by our rationality. Emotions have a very important adaptation function for a person’s life. If we learn to manage them, without holding them back or being overwhelmed, they can represent an important guide for our thoughts and actions.
It is in fact necessary to know how to interpret and use these messages in the best possible way, in order to look deeper and get to know ourselves and rediscover that sense of purpose that perhaps we had lost in keeping the commitments made with others but not with ourselves; and all this allows us to improve the relationship with ourselves and also with others.
It is important to learn to identify what we are feeling, become familiar with our needs as a result of those emotions so that we can better manage them. The main emotions are identified in eight emotional states from which very different variations can arise and which give us a very rich range. The main ones we know very well are: anger, fear, sadness, joy, surprise, contempt and disgust.
Try some simple exercises to get comfortable with your emotions. Grab a pen and paper and give yourself 15 minutes for yourself:
Which of these emotional states listed above do you feel you are in most frequently?
When you are in that state how do you behave? What behaviors do you provoke in other people?
What emotional state would you like to be in instead?
What do you do or where are you when you are in the emotional state that you would like to feel more often?
What could you do to have your desired emotional state, even more present in your daily life?
Let me know how it goes.